Rest

One thing I’ve realized is that even when you have a passion for something you’ve dedicated much of your life to, it’s okay to have periods of retreat and rest.

Every few years I’ll hit a spot where I need to pull back. And lately I’ve pulled back more than I have in a long while. I have been really hard on myself over this.

It’s so easy to feel like a failure when I’m not in constant motion with what I love doing. It feels like sitting on the sidelines while everyone else carries on moving forward and doing great things. I have to remember that it’s really great for everyone else to move as they’d like. And it’s also okay for me to sit out for a while.

I’ll worry that I’m not being supportive of friends while I’m taking my rest. It feels more fun and engaging when we’re all in this forward momentum together. When I stop moving with everyone it feels like quitting. Like failing. Like letting others down.

I have put so much of myself into the artform of improv over the last 10+ years and it feels important to reevaluate what I’m bringing to it. And how it matters currently, especially after these last few years we’ve experienced. 

We’ve all changed. And I’m currently assessing how this updated me fits into this updated all of us. And we’re still changing daily. We always will, of course. But it all currently feels extra different.

I’m taking some time. I’m sitting out for a bit. I’m pausing, reflecting, reorganizing, letting go, focusing on health and love and gearing up for when I’m ready to get off the sidelines and back in the game. 

Photo by Diane Anton