One Year Later

A year later and there are so many feelings. It seems like there is a light at the end of this long and endless tunnel. There is a shift and the trending items on the socials are posts about vaccines.

It’s like everyone is being injected with a feeling of freedom. A sigh of relief. People are just bursting to get back out. To life. To hugs. To friends. To living.

Meanwhile, I’m looking out into this extra bit of daylight and I just feel terrified and sad. It’s like all the feelings that have accumulated from the last 365 days are rising up inside of me. An overflowing dam that is about to break. 

There has been so much to endure. From the pandemic to political uprisings to loss of relationships, life and more. How easy is it to set this all down and frolic back out into the world again?

I feel so stuck as I look out into it all. How do I move forward? Where do I begin?

Today feels heavy with emotions felt during this last year. The struggles that so many have experienced. The hardships on loved ones. The loss of my own relationship during the pandemic. The distance with family over political beliefs. The anger and hatred that exists in plain sight on the regular. The pain. The panic. The heartbreak.

I don’t know how to get back out there after all this. It feels impossible.

I know that I’m strong. And I’m grateful for my life, my job, my home.

I’m thankful for connection. To the people who make me laugh. The people who remind me everyday why it is important not to give up. The people that keep me from losing faith in this world.

Connection is important. I couldn’t have gotten through this year without it.

I take a walk down the block and a tree full of the most gorgeous blooms reminds me that we are resilient. That transitions aren’t always easy. But there is always space for us to bloom again.

We will always bloom again.